Bro Update

I am very happy to report that things have been awesome with my bro and our visit! I may have prejudged and over reacted a bit. We enjoyed dinner with the family last night, a nice family brunch today and then Ky and I and the kids decided to go to Lagoon today with some friends so we kidnapped him and took him with us. It was such a pleasure to spend the day with him. HE is an amazing uncle to the kids, he gets very few chances to be with my babies and every moment we get to have him around is AWESOME. He is definitely a natural with the kids and it is special to watch them!! Ahhh sappy. Anyways, we will be sharing more about the weekend soon!!

My Bro

(My bro and Jack on the left taken just over a year ago)

Disclaimer: Love my mom but GEEEEEZ lady are you for real, for real!

So, I got word today that my bro is coming home for a ten day visit. My brother is a Cobra Helicopter Pilot for the United States Marine Corps. He has been away for several years ( I have seen him on the occasional holiday etc) going through intensive training and flight schools. Apparently this will be our last visit before he is deployed (which makes me extremely nauseous and anxiety ridden on MANY levels, I hate the war, I hate our FUCKING President, but I love my Bro and I am so very proud of his accomplishments, so this inturn keeps me stuck) This visit will be interesting, well it is always interesting. My mother still has this weird infatuation with my brother and since he left any time he comes home my mother is convinced "this is the last time he will be home for a very long time, you have no idea what war or whatever will bring, drop everything." she monopolizes the majority of his time spent home with weird schedules and plans (in the first day he is here she has planned a brunch and dinner for him, which he doesn't even know about and would fall over and die if he did.) Besides that the thing that bugs me is that he is 26 years old and doesn't tell her no EVER. We have to practically go through Fort Knox to make plans with him or work around the weird plans she has thrown in the mix for him. Take for example that he is coming home to visit for ten days and my mom is absconding with him to Jackson Hole for 5 of the days. Sure we were invited (tentatively depending on him last minute), but who goes to Jackson Hole for 5 days over Labor Day weekend without having made reservations a year in advance. My mom however to accomplish this goal will pay thousands of dollars to ensure it happens..... Oh bug, I am not complaining but freak what happened to the time when siblings visit, the more I think of it I realize that my brother and I have struggled for so long to be close because we have never had the time to build our relationship without other things (ie my mom) getting in the way. I feel sad at times for my mother because I think this is her way of holding on to some weird fascination she has, of refusing to let go of her child but for CHRIST sakes I lived out of state for years granted I was not going to war, but whatever I never came home to HUGE cheers and infatuation. I came home to visit. Ky and I decided tonight that maybe we will try moving out of state, see if we can get some grand schemes when we come home. This is just my random rant for the day because I can't believe how irritating it is that I can't even call my own sibling and make plans with him because it might interfere with something my mom has planned for him. I can call but it is always like he practically has to say.... Well I might like to do that, (like go to Lagoon this weekend...)"If mom will let me."

Academiaphobia

So...... the time has come, K is just getting ready to graduate school and it is now my turn to start AGAIN! I am freakin out or a more likely term having academiaphobia. I have been working in the field of "social services and substance abuse" for over 12 year now SHIT!! I have been working towards my degree for about ten of that. OBVIOUSLY I have taken some very large breaks, to you know be an irresponsible 20 year old, buy houses, have kids, adopt kids, and then as a family we decided it would not benefit our family if K and I both did school at the same time.

I have gotten comfortable, if you could have a degree for experience I would have it three times over, and the experience I have has continuously offered amazing career opportunities for me... Not enough career opportunities though, it really is all about that piece of paper and for me it is going to have to include a Masters Degree. I started school when I was 18 and for years worked towards my degree in Criminal Justice until one day I realized that to be punishing and punitive was not going to work for me, in addition to the fact that I had several crime scene investigation classes and criminology that took me to the crime labs where the decision was made that there was NO way in hell I could look at the morbid things I saw there every day. The thing that really set me off was the lower arm preserved in a jar of formaldehyde saved to compare fingerprints etc. at a crime scene, I still have not gotten over those Heebie Jeebies. So my major quickly changed (which ALWAYS adds time in school and since I have been working full time I have only gone to school part time, mostly because my social life is also important to me. Anyways I digress.

I will be starting school on August 28 to finish my Bachelors in Human Services and Management at the University of Phoenix. God it is soooo expensive but it will shorten the time that I have left to get my degree by about 9 years total if I include my Masters Degree in Professional Counseling and I justify it by the fact that in that 9 years I will miss a lot more time with my kids, and the $$ I will make after my Masters will far outweigh the cost.

It is a bit intimidating though, K is so amazing in school she has done online, she is almost a straight A student and she has done all of this with 2 wild kids. I admire her sticktuitiveness and only hope that my commitment can be half of what she has shown. The only thing I have going for me is that she is my wife and she is so supportive. I already give 110% to being a mother, wife, friend. I am hopeful that school will easily fall into my line of priorities!! I will just keep a positive attitude and remember that the years will pass regardless of if I am in school or not so I might as well keep my chin up!

I can't help but have those first day of school jitters it feels like elementary school. I will be going to school one night a week on Tuesdays from 6-10 pm and then have a study group at least one night a week. What if I forgot how to be smart? What if I forgot how to be interactive and social in a school setting? I doubt I did and I am sure it will all come together. I feel like I should get to go "back to school shopping (hey maybe I can use that angle on K :)).

Addendum: Now, I know some of you reading this (Twins and 2 Moms) have done full time school and raised kids and survived so I will follow your example and bust a move!!

I love this stuff!

What a weekend!!

We had such fun this weekend.... The big gay campout!! You know it was our first time joining the group for this annual campout and we had a good time. It is always interesting though and a bit out of the ordinary for me to begin joining other groups. I have been a bit "stagnant" for a long time, I have been comfortable for a lot of years, we have had the "same" group of friends forever and this spring and summer we have had the enjoyment of having some very incredible people enter our lives... I had to realize something about myself this weekend, I easily get a bit uncomfortable, I feel out of sorts, I worry about what people think, and it bugs me!! My friends that have been around forever just know me, they know my quirks, and they love me for who I am. But.... I spent the weekend with a bunch of new people, with different qualities and quite a variety of personalities and I can't believe how much I found myself worrying if everyone was okay. It was great though there is no time like the present to come out of your comfort zone and have to do things a bit different. We really enjoyed getting to know people better and meeting new people.

The BGCO(big gay campout) held down in Dinosaur Land National Park was successful it seems. Minus a few "loud and slightly drunk" mishaps it was awesome. I was a bit concerned as we drove to Vernal, I had no idea what to expect I mean for me camping has always been in the mountains and dumb me thought Vernal would be mountainous since we were driving through Heber. I had NO idea we were going to end up in the desert. It was beautiful as we came in near the Green River.... I decided I MUST get out more! There was river rafting, fishing, swimming in the river, and some REBEL ROUSING!! K has all the pics I will let her post. For those of you who were there YOU ROCK and for those of you that weren't THERE IS NEXT YEAR!!