10.29.2008

This and that

It has been a busy couple of weeks, I finished a very difficult class to begin another difficult class. 8 classes left to my degree and that is about all that keeps me going. I figure I don't really have an excuse though since I was able to maintain school and go through some very difficult times in my life this summer. I did some fun things this last week, I took the kids to a local corn maize and they loved it. They loved it all except for the haunted dinosaur of which we found the nearest exit. The kids were scared to death, when we came out little J looked at me and said "mom my life was scared inside my body". The things kids say. Sunday some friends went to L*^agoon for frig(**htmares and we all had a blast. A is my fearless child on all of the rides, even puts her hands up the whole time on the tidal wave, but not J he is kind of a wimp these days, gotta do something to toughen him up. They enjoyed themselves we have good friends and they always end up being the center of attention!

I started training for a half marathon that is taking place in January in Phoenix and will be going down with some friends, it is looking like I am going to have some heavy competition and some very athletic folks to keep up with. So I started going to the gym, because I couldn't quite keep myself motivated at home, it is always easier to do laundry, school work, or something else. The benefit of the gym is that I have daycare for an hour and a half a day there, the kids enjoy playing and I get to excercise which I enjoy very much. Something about looking at "fit" people keeps me motivated, plus I can watch my kids on the T.V screen in the daycare! LOL.

Looking forward to a great weekend, I get to take the kids on Halloween which I am happy about and Saturday I am taking the four wheeler out for one last hurrah prior to the really cold winter time. I am excited for the holidays though because just getting through them means that we are closer to spring. Spring means T-ball, soccer, camping, boating, hiking, and FUN!!

I will be leaving to join my mom and dad with the kids in San Diego in a few weeks. My little baby brother is returning from this go around being deployed. We are all so excited that he will be coming home and his return happens to fall over the Thanksgiving holiday. So we decided to rent a beach house for that week and spend Thanksgiving on the beach in San Diego. I am so lucky that K is so giving and is given me the go ahead to take the kids for that long over our first holiday apart no less, it is very gracious of her. Thanks K it really means a lot.

Divorce and seperation is a difficult thing, even more difficult is holidays and lost time with kids, doing all of the "firsts" with out the entire family. We are all adjusting and moving in a positive direction but it is definitely a bumpy road with a HUGE learning curve!

The single life..................... boy was that something I never thought I would say, the single life has been interesting, for the most part I have enjoyed it but also had some moments of intense clarity about my own desires, wishes, needs, hopes, goals, and plan. It is a VERY strange thing when all of the sudden you and only you are at the helm of your own ship. The most amazing realization I have had is that the number one relationship I have to work on is that with my kids. I have spoken of this before, but truly taking the opportunity to enjoy life as a mom has been the greatest blessing. Dating occasionally has proven to be somewhat of a nightmare and I will leave it at that. For me learning to set boundaries, say no to things I don't want to do and learning not to over commit myself to social gatherings, people, and events have been my most recent accomplishments!

I will post pictures soon from the last few weeks!

10.15.2008

Mommy we fed the goldfish

So recently I decided to (against my better judgement) get the kids a goldfish that "they really really wanted so much." Cute little guy although he is a goldfish he is black with the cute big bulgie eyes. Well we have had him for a couple weeks and he is still alive. LUCKILY, poor guy had a rough start to life. Alyssa held the bag the first night we got home and Flung the poor thing across the room, he bounced at least three times and I covered my eyes thought for sure the bag would break open. So the other night the kids come running up "Mommy we fed the fish and gave him water(Raphey is his name) he was hungry." I said without thinking anything of it "thanks for feeding the fish." A while later I went downstairs to see the 4 inch layer of fish food spread across the bottom of the tank and an empty bottle of the PH balancer and an empty bottle of fish food.

OMG I love kids, life would be pretty boring without them!! No worries the tank was cleaned, the fishies ecosystem was brough back in balance and for today the fish is still alive, the fish food is on a higher shelf and we have had yet another fish feeding lesson deciphering the difference between a pinch of fish food and the whole bottle!

10.09.2008

The Evolution of ME!! 2008

I figure several months and it is time for a new post. Mostly, so everyone knows that I am still alive and kicking!! Even more because as you know I am definitely more of a winter blogger, and FYI I can feel winter in the air. Well... actually more like fall and fall and spring are my two FAVORITE seasons.

Well the last three months have been good for me. I have taken some time to do some major self introspection, learned an incredible amount about myself, identified some faults I have needed to for a while, taken some major accountability for the state of my own life, but most of all learned to love ME!! I am excited about my future and pretty much life in general.

So what have I been doing the last three months....... Well, I have been LOVING being a mommy, spending some major time with my kids, enjoying time with friends, and enjoying some time alone. Probably the biggest thing I have done this summer and ever in my life was travel to the Philippines for 13 days. There are barely words to describe my experiance there, the only that come to mind are that my trip was absolutely LIFE CHANGING, the freedom and intensity that came from my experiance truly has impacted me intensly. If I got to go back there tomorrow it would not be too soon. It is one of the most beautiful and truly amazing places I have been (of course I am not well traveled). The children, the simplicity, the laughter, the quiet moments, the appreciation for my kids, and the appreciation for my change are just some of the things I took from the trip. I would love to share ALL about it ALL but I am afraid that when I talk about it only I can truly feel the impact and so I instead just ramble on and on. I will share pictures though.

I am still in school, on the 11 month countdown to my Bachelors, a ten year goal for me. I always say, I am on the ten year plan for school and realize as I am typing this it is turning into my 12 year plan. But.... who's counting, I got two amazing kids instead!!

I am more excited today to wake up, then I have been in a long time, and I look forward to the next experiance. I have said a few times in all of this "I feel like my life is a social experiment right now, I watch people, observe, and learn." I won't lie I have had some very challenging and lonely moments, but like a beach ball pushed under water I fly right back out/up. I said to a friend tonight, I cannot believe how fast this year has gone, sometimes I want to slow it down. My little brother is coming back in November, the kids and I get to go down to welcome him home and enjoy Thanksgiving with him. My family has rented a beach house for the big event and I think we are all VERY excited. I have had some incredible things happen with work, and have been moved into a supervisory role of a new program so things have been ubberly crazy with those changes.

I have included two slideshows of 2008 in review one of the events of the summer and one of the Philippines