Meme questions answered!!

Okay I will take the HONOR of being last!! Here goes!

1. I am secretly a cowgirl, I have the hats, the boots, and I LOVE country music. I have raised horses(in fact I even drove my little baby paint horse in the backseat of my Toyota Tercel from Oakley to Heber to the vet because she was too little to go in the trailer, she was like my dog for a long time, her mother died at birth so I spent every night with her in the barn sleeping), I have barrel raced, dream of being in the rodeo pretty much daily, have a burning desire to live on several acres and have every farm animal imaginable. When I lived in Oakley I had goats, horses, and a pot bellied pig named Harley that lived in my house and slept in my closet, 4 dogs and at least 7 cats on a good day. My how times have changed but this is still where I will end up some day!! MARK MY WORDS!

2. I have lived in two other states besides Utah, I lived on a dude ranch for a summer in Grand Teton Wyoming after moving out of my parents home at the age of 16. I also traveled across the country to live in Portland Maine when I was 20. I went with a "girlfriend" who informed me in approximately Nebraska that she had cheated on me at least 16 times. I just kept driving. This experience was life altering, I learned and grew so much after I "left that girlfriend". This is truly where I came into my own, on my own, it really can be life altering when you spend some MAJOR time alone.

3. I saw K 4 days before I met her on a night out in Salt Lake while I was visiting. I knew that i had to know her. I walked the block for her that night, I was by damned going to talk to her, I never found her. 4 days later she walked into a going away party that was being held for me at the "Paper(lame) Moon" (6 years ago today folks, Happy pre Anniversary, Anniversary, we now celebrate our commitment ceremony date as our anniversary.) It was so overwhelming, I got on a plane the next day and wrote a letter to her. Mind you I had talked to her for about an hour in a large group of people, there was just "something about her"------ Probably, the wet t shirt (no not really but damn she had me whooped) (the wet t shirt was a pre Becky thing)

4. I have extremely bad luck with wildlife, I have hit over 10 deer in my lifetime in my car, I have been chased by a moose (no one ever bothered to tell me they jump fences), petted a moose in the dark thinking it was a horse, had chipmunks mating on my chest in the middle of the night, been approached while on a phone by a porcupine (and I thought it was a dog, till I didn't think it was a dog and then I freaked).

5. I too was adopted and found my Birth mother Debbie in Michigan when I was 16 and spent the summer with her that year. Another life changing experience she and I are very similar but VERY different and we have not had the "best relationship". It was the one thing I needed in life to complete my puzzle. I just needed to understand me a bit better, however she is a major alcoholic and uses many prescription drugs. The best is when I told her I was gay--her response--"I knew I should have had an abortion". Oh some peoples mothers--To this day this experience has made me say thank you to my adoptive parents every single day and I have never looked back since!

6. I am a horrible passenger seat driver, K hates it I have a very hard time and I go into this weird little panic thing if I see brake lights in front of me. Sometimes I think Ky might divorce me over it. I am working on it though, if you want I can demonstrate sometime.

7. I have no cartilage in the end of my nose so you can push it to squish right up against my face. The strangest thing is ---Jack doesn't have any either. Cute he must have got that from me, its my sperm I just know it.

8. Recently, I have started meditating while driving to the "Secret" meditation tape. My favorite is when it tells you that "it is not necessary to stay awake for this meditation" I laugh I stay awake but want to take it all in subconsciously and when I go to sleep I go WAY to sleep. Ky thinks I am too weird! P.S I just read this to Kyla and she informed me that I can't meditate while driving but I will tell you right now I have it down to a science!


Incarceration on a daily basis

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take - but by the moments that take our breath away."

So many of you probably don't know this but I spend 5 days a week incarcerated. That drinking and driving and crack smoking has finally caught up with me. No.... not really I actually work in the local jail as a Substance Abuse Treatment Provider. I work in a unit of 64 men or 32 women on a daily basis. I work directly in their housing units, that's right most the time they pee and shower right there in front of me. I think I have the greatest job ever, my friends mostly think I am nuts. I have worked in this field for over 11 years left for about 1.5 years to try something new and couldn't stay away. A definite chain of events today has led me to write this blog. First, I work with a coworker who is intensely cynical and burned out, I had a new intern start today, and I received a call from 2 different people whom had been in my program over 4 years ago and recently one of my "inmates" died....... I couldn't help but think all day today just how lucky and grateful I am to have the gift of work that I do everyday. Not often do we get to "give it away" hope is what I am talking about..... Not often do we get blessed with the job of simply instilling hope in individuals who have lost it. Hope is an amazing thing I watch it fall into souls everyday and as quickly as they find it, it can be lost. Currently, I work with men who have committed crimes as simple as Driving on a suspended license to career criminals and everything in between. They don't all get out of the program and become successful individuals, and that is not what it is about for me.... What life is really about is potential, to see someone who has felt like they could never succeed, endure and entire paradigm shift and have the opportunity to be successful is amazing. To watch self esteem and hope walk up and tap "grown men" on the shoulder is a gift. I mostly wanted to put it out there today that I am so grateful!!

I 2 different phone calls today from two different women that I have worked with in the past 4 years. They both lived a life of severe drug addiction and crime and were able to gain the tools necessary to be successful.... There is nothing like that call the "Hi Becky, this is so and so and I just needed to tell you THANK YOU, I am a new mom, or I am a grandma" I will keep in touch!! That's worth it..... So my coworker is as mentioned earlier the most cynical person I have met I am sure it is based on burnout.. Sad I hate that!!! If I am ever at that point with my job "SOMEBODY MAKE ME STOP"

Well this has been a bit gushy, I don't know I had to say it.... Some aren't so lucky to love their job. I guess if I have to leave my kids everyday for 8 hours it is a good thing I have something that I feel this grateful for!!