Mommy?? Who is looking at your butt!!

Funny story of the week....... My kids are full of them, questions, concerns and comments!! I never realized how in tune they are and just how much they listen to EVERYTHING!!

So.... We are taking the LONG drive to daycare this morning and there is this commercial on the radio that says something like this (I think it is a weight watchers or something)
"Oh my gosh have you seen Becky's butt lately it looks so great"

So from the back seat I hear hysterical laughing........ followed by Alyssa saying Mommy did you hear that, them saying did you see Mommy Becky's butt" Jackson could hardly contain himself he has this hysterical laugh that is as low as any man you would meet. Jackson with his inquisitive self stated "Mommy, who is looking at your butt, huh who is it." We all laughed and the drive continued!!

Have I mentioned that I have the most PHENOMENAL kids EVER!!

Phoenix Half Marathon

Rebecca Brown #42647
Kearns, UTAge: 29 Gender: F
("2:57:41");

Distance
HALF MAR
Clock Time
3:22:45
Chip Time
2:57:41
Gender Place
9684 / 14046
Age Grade
37%
Placeoall
16524
Placediv
1923
Pace
13:34
Ttldiv
2457
Ttlsex
14047
5 Km
40:59
10 Km
1:18:52
10 2 Mile
2:13:06

The results!! Not my best run but an absolutely amazing trip!! Phoenix is an incredible state the weather was wonderful but most of all I spent time with some of the most amazing women ever!! I am so lucky to have people in my life that push and encourage positive things! I often think about where my life was 2 years ago, 90 pounds heavier and totally inactive. I always talk with my clients at work about how you will never sore with the eagles when you were on the ground with the pigeons. My life 2 years ago was rather mundane, I spent a significant amount of time either eating or on the couch, not to mention raising two wonderful young kids.

It is funny, many people in my life have mentioned that they think running is self punishment, I have to disagree...... I LOVE running, I feel incredible when I do it and it motivates me to be better in my life!! It is also incredibly calming and I find myself in a zone unlike anything else I do in my life. My life and purpose becomes clearer when I run, I hit mile 11 on the 1/2 marathon and felt myself pulling from the deepest parts of me, there is a drive an motivation that is soulful for sure. Although my time in this marathon was not as good as my last it was more amazing then the first. The Ogden Half I ran last year was all down hill well mostly downhill. The Phoenix Half had more intense terrain!!

I am looking at about 4-5 more half marathons this spring summer and fall at minimum so I better keep training and I am considering beginning training for a triathalon, have to get a new bike though since last summer K's brother managed to have mine stolen at work!! BUMMER!

Oh yes....... and among other big news!! I got my first and probably only tattoo, it is the trusty old Turtlefly and is represented on K's page and is at the top of this post. I will post a picture soon as it looks on my shoulders, it is amazing and sits between my shoulder blades. I have wanted a tattoo for a lot of years have juggled many ideas back and forth but this one I knew that I could commit to forever as it represents my children and was drawn by a mutual friend of mine and K's. I have never wanted to just drive myself to the tattoo shop in SLC and get it so it worked out since I was running a half in Phoenix Arizona, I run for my children, and the turtlefly represents them to me. Okay so it is freakin amazing!! It looks amazing the colors are amazing and I can't believe at 29 1/2 I finally did it, on a trip I will never forget doing something I love!

Mommy.... It is all I got but will it make you happy?

So I would like to preface this post by saying a couple of things..... Throughout the entire demise of my marriage, I have worked diligently to shield and protect my children from any of my own pain, tears or sadness. So this is not a regular occurrence by any means, but I have also decided following the events that it is perfectly acceptable for them to understand that I too am human.

Tonight was one of those nights, K sent some stuff home with the kids that had been at the house and as I was going through it I shed some tears..... The pain and loss of a 7 year relationship is still extremely painful at times.... But more then anything it happens when the memories of things creep up! K returned a few of my bags that had remained at the house and in them were hidden treasures of years gone by. The purses I had thrown in the closet after they had become old and tired held memories of the love and joy that carried us through some of our toughest times.... I had put the kids to bed and sat to reminisce for a moment and I cried, not sobbed just those big welling dropping tears that run your mascara and leave water marks on your clothes.

I looked over to see my beautiful princess A standing looking at me wringing her little hands quietly watching me. Immediately I tried to look away, hide my face and dry my eyes. She ever so somberly walked over to me and looked at me in the eyes, it was a deeper look then that of a four year old. She grabbed my face and said "Oh mommy what is making you sad, what is the matter." I responded with nothing is wrong nothing is the matter. A says as matter of factly as I have ever heard as she rested her hands on my cheeks. "No mom you are sad and you have two tears" she gently wiped them from my eyes and leaned in to hug me. I figured at this moment it was important for her to know that even mommies have sadness... We talked about it a little and I just let her know that sometimes in our life we have things that make us sad, we miss things, people, places. A looked to me again and said (and I am not even kidding you) her hands wrapped in mine "Oh, so mom sometimes you are sad because you miss coming home with us and Mommy K". She is my angel, she is my strength, and at that moment I just held her and told her "yes honey sometimes it is hard when we don't have what we thought we would" But reminded her that we have an amazing family, and an amazing home and that we are all lucky to have each other, lucky that Mommy K and Mommy B still love each other and most lucky that we have two of the most amazing children on the planet. A then says "well mommy its all gonna be okay." I thanked her for being so wonderful and sweet and caring. She disappeared for a bit and I heard her rummaging through her room a little....... She returned with pure innocence and love with a bow that was smashed completely, but might be the most BEAUTIFUL bow I have ever seen and says "Mommy, this is all I have, but will it make you happy?"

Can I just say children are unbelievable... I am so lucky to have been blessed with the beauty of my children. That bow will never leave, it is a symbol of the purest and most true compassion I have ever experienced.

Mostly, I wanted to share this story with all of you not because I wanted to share my sadness... I usually hide that pretty well... Mostly I wanted share with you the innocence of the abounding love of children. I also wanted to take a moment to note such a beautiful story, provided by such a beautiful daughter.