Way better than papers!

So I should be writing three papers for grad school right this second.... Procrastination at its finest!!! I started school last week and love it. I know I am right where I am supposed to be. I am also on an 8 day countdown to some very big very great news in the career realm..... Counting down the days trust me!

Last week we had back to school night for the littles, who are starting Kindergarten. I can't imagine that just a little over six years ago I was dreaming of the day that I would have a baby, let alone have a kindergartner or two for that matter. A good friend and I were talking the other day about the fact that when they said kids, they didn't mention this part. The part where they are not a succinct little fun package that you carry on your hip and dress up really cute. They actually develop into little humans, with personality, attitude, and mouths. Even better they develop into little humans that have goals, dreams, and aspirations. J walked out of his room the other day dressed in his doctor scrubs and went into an entire disertation about how he was going to be a doctor and would I let him, even if he was still a little doctor come to work with me and help the guys I help? Uhhhh, could you die? Alyssa, is dying to play soccer and according to the other mother actually full fledged kicked a soccer ball sitting stationary on the shelf. How exciting to move ahead in the lives of these littles and watch them dream, grow, explore and discover.

It is hard sometimes, I hope in the fifty percent of their lives that I get to spend with them I can show them everything they ever need to know from me that is.... I mean I know the other mom does an incredible job too! She and I are just different, I hope for them they have the chance to take both of our strengths and have the opportunity to be very successful. Exciting times are ahead this I am sure of!!! This will be a first for them to be seperated as we have chosen to put them in different classes in Kindergarten. A who depends on J for so much of her support will finally have the opportunity to discover her own independence and consistency. J who has spent the good majority of his life protecting his amazing big sister will finally have the chance to take a break for the little brother bully mentality he has lived for so long. It will be new pastures for both of them and it is my hope that they both thrive in their new environments.

Well I suppose I should get back to the papers I am procrastinating, somehow they haven't gone away.


2010...... here goes nothing!!

What an amazing year it has been and it really just keeps getting better. In the last 7 months, I have started 2 new programs within my organization, graduated with my undergraduate degree, and been accepted to the MSW program at the University of Utah. It has not been easy but it has definitely been worth it. My babies are doing so well and will be starting in all day kindergarten the same day I start Grad School.

I had an incredible amount of trepidation when applying and making the decision to enter grad school. I felt very strong about the fact that this was in fact going to take away from the kids and they have certainly been through enough loss. One of my Executives in my organization pulled me aside and said "what are you so afraid of?" "Becky Brown what would you do if you knew you could not fail." I explained my fears about taking away from my children and being a half time single mom and the impact that this would have on them. I will be working full + time going to school full + time and doing a practicum both years, I looked at him and said "how can this be fair to my kids?" He said to me "the years will pass anyways, and being the parent of teenagers as they get older I can promise you that they will only need you more."

So I stopped making excuses and started planning to apply for the program. To my surprise I was accepted. I will be starting the program in a couple of weeks, and have already started my first practicum.

On a more fun note, the kids and I have had a blast this summer, tons of traveling and time together. I have also been traveling a lot for work and that schedule continues. I ran another half marathon in the spring and hope to incorporate a few more into the coming months.

I am hoping to document more of the events and experiences I am having through the next couple of years!!

Learning to stand on my own two feet, be accountable, and really take a step back and reevaluate my life has been nothing short of a miracle over the last year. Everything looks different but that has not come easily or without a lot of work! Here's to another chapter closing and new ones opening!!