11.25.2008
11.23.2008
11.22.2008
San Diego Trip
Well the last 24 hours have been amazing, we arrived in California yesterday around One o'clock got checked in to the condo and everyone got ready to go pick up Uncle Jonny who was coming home from Iraq. Boy, the kids have been hyped about it all week. J was convinced we were going to Iraq to get him and threw a melt down fit last Monday when he found out A. that we were not leaving for 4 more days and B. When he was told that we weren't going to Iraq, just California!!
The final Countdown, I didn't really know what to expect for a homecoming but we were all buzzing for sure!! We arrived on base and found out that they would not be here for at least four more hours!! Are you kidding me entertain my kids for four more hours!! Well, luckily they had bounce houses set up and the best idea yet BIG huge sheets of bubble wrap taped all over the floor!! This kept the kids busy for hours and hours. Infact, I think I am going to do that and just that for my next kids birthday party and I swear it is better then any entertainment yet!
So.... We waited and waited in anticipation to see this brother, son, and uncle step off the bus. And then it happened 6 buses pulled up and they all filed off. I cried couldn't help it. I cried for the family in front of us whose daddy had never met the new baby. For the children that were walking that were tiny when their dads left and I cried for the dads whose children didn't know them because they had been gone so long and were afraid to be held by them. I cried for the kids who went through the summer without a dad to watch all of their soccer games. I could go on and on!! It was amazing, hundreds and hundreds of people there for these amazing men who fight to make sure that mine and your kids are essentially protected, these amazing men who put their lives on the line everday for our safety!!
My Baby Bro was tired, he looked tired and dirty, says he has not taken a real shower with hot water let alone water for 8 months. He talked about camel spiders, and being scared shitless at times. He came back rather humbled, but overall says... "You know it really wasn't that bad". He has to go back in 5 more months so I guess that is a good attitude to have.
We now have an entire week together to hang out and he definitely has some winding down to do.
I woke up this morning and ran 5 miles (boy wouldn't I love to live at sea level, I love love love running here, much like I loved running when I lived on the East Coast) We went to breakfast, did some grocery shopping and spent several hours digging holes on the beach. Tonight my lovely mother stayed at the condo with the kids and my bro, dad and I went to a local pub to watch the BYU vs. Utah game over a couple of beers.
Tonight, Alyssa did my hair, I did her hair to match and then we did Nanas hair so we could all be matching!! It is times like this that really make you appreciate your family and it is a good reminder for me about what matters most!
The final Countdown, I didn't really know what to expect for a homecoming but we were all buzzing for sure!! We arrived on base and found out that they would not be here for at least four more hours!! Are you kidding me entertain my kids for four more hours!! Well, luckily they had bounce houses set up and the best idea yet BIG huge sheets of bubble wrap taped all over the floor!! This kept the kids busy for hours and hours. Infact, I think I am going to do that and just that for my next kids birthday party and I swear it is better then any entertainment yet!
So.... We waited and waited in anticipation to see this brother, son, and uncle step off the bus. And then it happened 6 buses pulled up and they all filed off. I cried couldn't help it. I cried for the family in front of us whose daddy had never met the new baby. For the children that were walking that were tiny when their dads left and I cried for the dads whose children didn't know them because they had been gone so long and were afraid to be held by them. I cried for the kids who went through the summer without a dad to watch all of their soccer games. I could go on and on!! It was amazing, hundreds and hundreds of people there for these amazing men who fight to make sure that mine and your kids are essentially protected, these amazing men who put their lives on the line everday for our safety!!
My Baby Bro was tired, he looked tired and dirty, says he has not taken a real shower with hot water let alone water for 8 months. He talked about camel spiders, and being scared shitless at times. He came back rather humbled, but overall says... "You know it really wasn't that bad". He has to go back in 5 more months so I guess that is a good attitude to have.
We now have an entire week together to hang out and he definitely has some winding down to do.
I woke up this morning and ran 5 miles (boy wouldn't I love to live at sea level, I love love love running here, much like I loved running when I lived on the East Coast) We went to breakfast, did some grocery shopping and spent several hours digging holes on the beach. Tonight my lovely mother stayed at the condo with the kids and my bro, dad and I went to a local pub to watch the BYU vs. Utah game over a couple of beers.
Tonight, Alyssa did my hair, I did her hair to match and then we did Nanas hair so we could all be matching!! It is times like this that really make you appreciate your family and it is a good reminder for me about what matters most!
11.04.2008
Amazing
WE DID IT!! The change our nation needs so desperately seems to be on its way!! CAN I GET A HELL YEAH! I am so excited for our new President Elect, I am so excited that there will be a difference in at least the next four years! Obam*A is a stunning man, who came from adversity, who understands what it means to truly be American!! I am thrilled!!
On a lighter note the last couple of weeks have been a lot of fun, Halloween was a blast with my kids! We are so lucky to experiance holidays with kids, boy it sure makes a big difference and is SO much more fun, I missed out all of these years!!
Here are some amazing photos!
10.29.2008
This and that
It has been a busy couple of weeks, I finished a very difficult class to begin another difficult class. 8 classes left to my degree and that is about all that keeps me going. I figure I don't really have an excuse though since I was able to maintain school and go through some very difficult times in my life this summer. I did some fun things this last week, I took the kids to a local corn maize and they loved it. They loved it all except for the haunted dinosaur of which we found the nearest exit. The kids were scared to death, when we came out little J looked at me and said "mom my life was scared inside my body". The things kids say. Sunday some friends went to L*^agoon for frig(**htmares and we all had a blast. A is my fearless child on all of the rides, even puts her hands up the whole time on the tidal wave, but not J he is kind of a wimp these days, gotta do something to toughen him up. They enjoyed themselves we have good friends and they always end up being the center of attention!
I started training for a half marathon that is taking place in January in Phoenix and will be going down with some friends, it is looking like I am going to have some heavy competition and some very athletic folks to keep up with. So I started going to the gym, because I couldn't quite keep myself motivated at home, it is always easier to do laundry, school work, or something else. The benefit of the gym is that I have daycare for an hour and a half a day there, the kids enjoy playing and I get to excercise which I enjoy very much. Something about looking at "fit" people keeps me motivated, plus I can watch my kids on the T.V screen in the daycare! LOL.
Looking forward to a great weekend, I get to take the kids on Halloween which I am happy about and Saturday I am taking the four wheeler out for one last hurrah prior to the really cold winter time. I am excited for the holidays though because just getting through them means that we are closer to spring. Spring means T-ball, soccer, camping, boating, hiking, and FUN!!
I will be leaving to join my mom and dad with the kids in San Diego in a few weeks. My little baby brother is returning from this go around being deployed. We are all so excited that he will be coming home and his return happens to fall over the Thanksgiving holiday. So we decided to rent a beach house for that week and spend Thanksgiving on the beach in San Diego. I am so lucky that K is so giving and is given me the go ahead to take the kids for that long over our first holiday apart no less, it is very gracious of her. Thanks K it really means a lot.
Divorce and seperation is a difficult thing, even more difficult is holidays and lost time with kids, doing all of the "firsts" with out the entire family. We are all adjusting and moving in a positive direction but it is definitely a bumpy road with a HUGE learning curve!
The single life..................... boy was that something I never thought I would say, the single life has been interesting, for the most part I have enjoyed it but also had some moments of intense clarity about my own desires, wishes, needs, hopes, goals, and plan. It is a VERY strange thing when all of the sudden you and only you are at the helm of your own ship. The most amazing realization I have had is that the number one relationship I have to work on is that with my kids. I have spoken of this before, but truly taking the opportunity to enjoy life as a mom has been the greatest blessing. Dating occasionally has proven to be somewhat of a nightmare and I will leave it at that. For me learning to set boundaries, say no to things I don't want to do and learning not to over commit myself to social gatherings, people, and events have been my most recent accomplishments!
I will post pictures soon from the last few weeks!
I started training for a half marathon that is taking place in January in Phoenix and will be going down with some friends, it is looking like I am going to have some heavy competition and some very athletic folks to keep up with. So I started going to the gym, because I couldn't quite keep myself motivated at home, it is always easier to do laundry, school work, or something else. The benefit of the gym is that I have daycare for an hour and a half a day there, the kids enjoy playing and I get to excercise which I enjoy very much. Something about looking at "fit" people keeps me motivated, plus I can watch my kids on the T.V screen in the daycare! LOL.
Looking forward to a great weekend, I get to take the kids on Halloween which I am happy about and Saturday I am taking the four wheeler out for one last hurrah prior to the really cold winter time. I am excited for the holidays though because just getting through them means that we are closer to spring. Spring means T-ball, soccer, camping, boating, hiking, and FUN!!
I will be leaving to join my mom and dad with the kids in San Diego in a few weeks. My little baby brother is returning from this go around being deployed. We are all so excited that he will be coming home and his return happens to fall over the Thanksgiving holiday. So we decided to rent a beach house for that week and spend Thanksgiving on the beach in San Diego. I am so lucky that K is so giving and is given me the go ahead to take the kids for that long over our first holiday apart no less, it is very gracious of her. Thanks K it really means a lot.
Divorce and seperation is a difficult thing, even more difficult is holidays and lost time with kids, doing all of the "firsts" with out the entire family. We are all adjusting and moving in a positive direction but it is definitely a bumpy road with a HUGE learning curve!
The single life..................... boy was that something I never thought I would say, the single life has been interesting, for the most part I have enjoyed it but also had some moments of intense clarity about my own desires, wishes, needs, hopes, goals, and plan. It is a VERY strange thing when all of the sudden you and only you are at the helm of your own ship. The most amazing realization I have had is that the number one relationship I have to work on is that with my kids. I have spoken of this before, but truly taking the opportunity to enjoy life as a mom has been the greatest blessing. Dating occasionally has proven to be somewhat of a nightmare and I will leave it at that. For me learning to set boundaries, say no to things I don't want to do and learning not to over commit myself to social gatherings, people, and events have been my most recent accomplishments!
I will post pictures soon from the last few weeks!
10.15.2008
Mommy we fed the goldfish
So recently I decided to (against my better judgement) get the kids a goldfish that "they really really wanted so much." Cute little guy although he is a goldfish he is black with the cute big bulgie eyes. Well we have had him for a couple weeks and he is still alive. LUCKILY, poor guy had a rough start to life. Alyssa held the bag the first night we got home and Flung the poor thing across the room, he bounced at least three times and I covered my eyes thought for sure the bag would break open. So the other night the kids come running up "Mommy we fed the fish and gave him water(Raphey is his name) he was hungry." I said without thinking anything of it "thanks for feeding the fish." A while later I went downstairs to see the 4 inch layer of fish food spread across the bottom of the tank and an empty bottle of the PH balancer and an empty bottle of fish food.
OMG I love kids, life would be pretty boring without them!! No worries the tank was cleaned, the fishies ecosystem was brough back in balance and for today the fish is still alive, the fish food is on a higher shelf and we have had yet another fish feeding lesson deciphering the difference between a pinch of fish food and the whole bottle!
OMG I love kids, life would be pretty boring without them!! No worries the tank was cleaned, the fishies ecosystem was brough back in balance and for today the fish is still alive, the fish food is on a higher shelf and we have had yet another fish feeding lesson deciphering the difference between a pinch of fish food and the whole bottle!
10.09.2008
The Evolution of ME!! 2008
I figure several months and it is time for a new post. Mostly, so everyone knows that I am still alive and kicking!! Even more because as you know I am definitely more of a winter blogger, and FYI I can feel winter in the air. Well... actually more like fall and fall and spring are my two FAVORITE seasons.
Well the last three months have been good for me. I have taken some time to do some major self introspection, learned an incredible amount about myself, identified some faults I have needed to for a while, taken some major accountability for the state of my own life, but most of all learned to love ME!! I am excited about my future and pretty much life in general.
So what have I been doing the last three months....... Well, I have been LOVING being a mommy, spending some major time with my kids, enjoying time with friends, and enjoying some time alone. Probably the biggest thing I have done this summer and ever in my life was travel to the Philippines for 13 days. There are barely words to describe my experiance there, the only that come to mind are that my trip was absolutely LIFE CHANGING, the freedom and intensity that came from my experiance truly has impacted me intensly. If I got to go back there tomorrow it would not be too soon. It is one of the most beautiful and truly amazing places I have been (of course I am not well traveled). The children, the simplicity, the laughter, the quiet moments, the appreciation for my kids, and the appreciation for my change are just some of the things I took from the trip. I would love to share ALL about it ALL but I am afraid that when I talk about it only I can truly feel the impact and so I instead just ramble on and on. I will share pictures though.
I am still in school, on the 11 month countdown to my Bachelors, a ten year goal for me. I always say, I am on the ten year plan for school and realize as I am typing this it is turning into my 12 year plan. But.... who's counting, I got two amazing kids instead!!
I am more excited today to wake up, then I have been in a long time, and I look forward to the next experiance. I have said a few times in all of this "I feel like my life is a social experiment right now, I watch people, observe, and learn." I won't lie I have had some very challenging and lonely moments, but like a beach ball pushed under water I fly right back out/up. I said to a friend tonight, I cannot believe how fast this year has gone, sometimes I want to slow it down. My little brother is coming back in November, the kids and I get to go down to welcome him home and enjoy Thanksgiving with him. My family has rented a beach house for the big event and I think we are all VERY excited. I have had some incredible things happen with work, and have been moved into a supervisory role of a new program so things have been ubberly crazy with those changes.
I have included two slideshows of 2008 in review one of the events of the summer and one of the Philippines
Well the last three months have been good for me. I have taken some time to do some major self introspection, learned an incredible amount about myself, identified some faults I have needed to for a while, taken some major accountability for the state of my own life, but most of all learned to love ME!! I am excited about my future and pretty much life in general.
So what have I been doing the last three months....... Well, I have been LOVING being a mommy, spending some major time with my kids, enjoying time with friends, and enjoying some time alone. Probably the biggest thing I have done this summer and ever in my life was travel to the Philippines for 13 days. There are barely words to describe my experiance there, the only that come to mind are that my trip was absolutely LIFE CHANGING, the freedom and intensity that came from my experiance truly has impacted me intensly. If I got to go back there tomorrow it would not be too soon. It is one of the most beautiful and truly amazing places I have been (of course I am not well traveled). The children, the simplicity, the laughter, the quiet moments, the appreciation for my kids, and the appreciation for my change are just some of the things I took from the trip. I would love to share ALL about it ALL but I am afraid that when I talk about it only I can truly feel the impact and so I instead just ramble on and on. I will share pictures though.
I am still in school, on the 11 month countdown to my Bachelors, a ten year goal for me. I always say, I am on the ten year plan for school and realize as I am typing this it is turning into my 12 year plan. But.... who's counting, I got two amazing kids instead!!
I am more excited today to wake up, then I have been in a long time, and I look forward to the next experiance. I have said a few times in all of this "I feel like my life is a social experiment right now, I watch people, observe, and learn." I won't lie I have had some very challenging and lonely moments, but like a beach ball pushed under water I fly right back out/up. I said to a friend tonight, I cannot believe how fast this year has gone, sometimes I want to slow it down. My little brother is coming back in November, the kids and I get to go down to welcome him home and enjoy Thanksgiving with him. My family has rented a beach house for the big event and I think we are all VERY excited. I have had some incredible things happen with work, and have been moved into a supervisory role of a new program so things have been ubberly crazy with those changes.
I have included two slideshows of 2008 in review one of the events of the summer and one of the Philippines
7.07.2008
Life and the pursuit of happiness at 29?
I did it, I spent my first birthday in 7 years without my family, it wasn't easy for me, I had many sad moments. I unfortunately did not get to spend the weekend with my kids. I felt abnormal and strange at first but I did it. I actually packed up the trailer and spent the weekend camping and boating for my 29Th birthday.
So let me tell you all about it. Our family was originally invited to spend the 4th holiday for my birthday camping at Pineview Reservoir... Well since that didn't work out so well, I had the pleasure of spending my time with some amazing friends. Many friends came and joined me throughout the weekend, we boated, tubed, I attempted wakeboarding and was up for a second (a very brief second) the weather was not conducive to my amateur adventure of it though. The greatest surprise of the whole weekend however was on Saturday night after being joined by about 20 people at the campsite I came up after a long day on the boat to a completely decorated campsite and a HUGE Mexican Fiesta........ Complete with an incredible dinner sombrero, pinata, and lots of fun prizes. It was a blast. It put a huge smile on my face, I had a few moments of feeling pretty lonely on my birthday, it was odd and awkward not to have the people I care most about in my life there to celebrate with me. In life though you have to make the best of situations crappy or not. I wanted to send out a public thank you to all of you who took the time to think of me on my special day!!
Although I struggle I am finding some incredible solice in my independence. I have had the great reminder that I really can do this life on my own and I have it in me to be successful in trials. I also wanted to send out a thanks to all of you who emailed, text and called to wish me happy birthday!!!
Anyways, here's to my independence for today, and goodbye to fear this life is mine and only mine to conquer and take on...I will add some pictures soon!
P.S I would like to clarify a couple of things to ensure that I don't give any false "story" to all of this. Kyla spent the weekends with the kids. She was gracious enough to swap me weekends and I would never want any one to think that she was keeping them from me so if it sounded that way forgive me. I missed them all IMMENSLY camping was not the same without K thats for sure !
So let me tell you all about it. Our family was originally invited to spend the 4th holiday for my birthday camping at Pineview Reservoir... Well since that didn't work out so well, I had the pleasure of spending my time with some amazing friends. Many friends came and joined me throughout the weekend, we boated, tubed, I attempted wakeboarding and was up for a second (a very brief second) the weather was not conducive to my amateur adventure of it though. The greatest surprise of the whole weekend however was on Saturday night after being joined by about 20 people at the campsite I came up after a long day on the boat to a completely decorated campsite and a HUGE Mexican Fiesta........ Complete with an incredible dinner sombrero, pinata, and lots of fun prizes. It was a blast. It put a huge smile on my face, I had a few moments of feeling pretty lonely on my birthday, it was odd and awkward not to have the people I care most about in my life there to celebrate with me. In life though you have to make the best of situations crappy or not. I wanted to send out a public thank you to all of you who took the time to think of me on my special day!!
Although I struggle I am finding some incredible solice in my independence. I have had the great reminder that I really can do this life on my own and I have it in me to be successful in trials. I also wanted to send out a thanks to all of you who emailed, text and called to wish me happy birthday!!!
Anyways, here's to my independence for today, and goodbye to fear this life is mine and only mine to conquer and take on...I will add some pictures soon!
P.S I would like to clarify a couple of things to ensure that I don't give any false "story" to all of this. Kyla spent the weekends with the kids. She was gracious enough to swap me weekends and I would never want any one to think that she was keeping them from me so if it sounded that way forgive me. I missed them all IMMENSLY camping was not the same without K thats for sure !
6.26.2008
You say it best....... When you say nothing at all
It has been a while since blogging for me. Things have been a bit crazy as some of you know. I decided to put myself out there again, I am still alive. There really is not a lot for me to say right now, the world has been spinning out of control for me for the last couple of months. For now that is all I can really put out there. I cannot paint a picture for you of bliss, peace, or tranquility because that is not where I am at. I am allowing myself the space and time to experiance the greiving process, as I go through the motions of pulling my life together after losing the family that I never thought I would lose. The story doesn't matter and all I can say in all of this is that we all have our own truth, our own experiance, and our own perception.
Thanks to all of you for your mutual support for both K and I.
Thats all for now!
Thanks to all of you for your mutual support for both K and I.
Thats all for now!
3.31.2008
Wow I am a loser!!
I have not blogged in more then ages. I can't believe it. Here's the deal school is absolutely downright kicking my butt!! I will have been in 2 math courses for a total of 11 weeks. Math has ALWAYS held me back from getting through college. I would take a math course and quit and then I would be totally discouraged about school. I REFUSE to do that this time, I am doing it but it is taking its toll. I am not math smart, I did not pay attention in highschool and my real life really has little to do with math. Tell me to solve a life problem, handle a crisis, or help someone and I am on it. Give me a math problem I go blank there are too many steps. I have never put quite so much time and committment into anything. My family has gone without me and is facing another 5 weeks of it. In addition I have been writing a very large proposal for my job which should be winding down and submitted this week. I know most of you keep up on the other parts of my life on K's blog so I will probably be out for a while longer while I purge every brain cell I have to get through it.
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